Hidden Valley Rant

Hidden Valley Ranch is joining Kraft in wanting to be the “everything” dressing. No longer just for salads, this condiment is jockeying to take the place of old favorites like ketchup and mustard.

To demonstrate that they mean business, Hidden Valley’s agency Tribal DDB, San Francisco, had two men dress up, one as a giant bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch, the other as a ketchup bottle. Then as part of the “ultimate condiment battle”, the two giant mascots engaged in fisticuffs all over the city San Francisco.

Watching two mascots duke it out is always funny. Wanna know what’s not funny? The nutritional information for Hidden Valley Ranch. The main ingredients, in order of most-to-least include: vegetable oil (soybean and/or canola), water, egg yolk, sugar, salt, cultured non-fat buttermilk, natural flavours (which we all know is a crock), and of course MSG.

It’s not bad for you. I eat it all the time.

Two tablespoons of ranch dressing serves up 140 calories. The same amount of ketchup is 40 calories. Ranch has 14 grams of fat, which is 22% of your daily average (barf). Ketchup has 0 fat, but makes up for it with sugar and salt content. They’re both disgusting, but Hidden Valley Ranch wins Heavyweight Championship in this battle.


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