But Wait! If You Order Now…

I have a secret. I love cheesy infomercial-style commercials. The juicing machines, the chopping devices, the steam cleaners; anything you never needed. They’re all magnificently terrible. I’ve had friends who used to make these commercials and you wouldn’t believe it, but a lot more effort goes into these things than you might imagine. That said, I would like to share with you today, some fantastic favorite infomercials.

I came across this amazing new product and subsequently, an amazing new infomercial. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Snazzy Napper. While watching this spot, I got to thinking perhaps the “Hijab Napper” might have been a better product name.

Favorite line: “It’s like privacy in a bag!”

Speaking of alternate product names, perhaps the inventors of the Tiddy Bear (say it out loud) should have at least considered a few more options before signing off on their product name. This IS a real product. In fact, it came on TV the other day and I practically fell out of my Uggs.

Favorite line: “And the Tiddy Bear works so great, he got one for himself too.”

Next on the roster is Emery Cat Board. This spot is always on the TV listings channel and I can’t help but raise an eyebrow every time the fake meow is thrown into the mix. BUT WAIT! There’s more! The bonus offer is an amazing “deshedder” that goes right down to the core to stop your cat from shedding where it starts. Uh. That’s a brush. Say it with me. Brrrrruuuuushhhh.

Favorite line: <seductive voice> “Here kitty, kitty.”

Taking it back to the old school, ’cause I’m an old fool who’s so cool. Here’s a little something that brings me back to my childhood. Sitting mesmerized in front of our giant, 400-lb television with the intricately detailed carved casing, I dreamed of one day owning my very own credit card so that I too could order a can of GLH. Otherwise known as Great Looking Hair! This was one of the classics.

Favorite line: “No more days where I’ll be called an old man. But the BABES are back!”

And one more for good measure. I’m sure thanks to Ellen, you’ve all seen the Hawaii Chair. But for those of you who have not… behold!

Favorite line: “With the Hawaii chair, it takes the work… out of your workday!”

To end this post, I would just like to say that I would proudly own any of the above products. In fact, I would like to own ALL the products… except the Tiddy Bear. That one is just stupid. I would like to be sitting in my Hawaii Chair, wearing my Snazzy Napper while holding my kitty in one hand (who is busy giving himself a kitticure on his Emery Cat) and spraying myself a new GLH weave. Imagine?


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